The Instant Switch Download A Pastor's Dirty Little Secret

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In the past 14 years I’ve rubbed shoulders with more ministers than I can remember. I’ve talked with ministers of large churches, small churches, and every size in between. I’ve hung out with black ministers, Hispanic ministers, Episcopal ministers, Republican ministers, and yes, to my shame, even ministers who are Yankee fans. You name ‘em, I’ve probably picked up their lunch tab.

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When our conversations move past square footage and per capita giving and other things that keep God up at night, we slowly let our guard down and begin to talk from the heart. Inevitably, that’s when a well guarded secret is shared. For most ministers, it’s a secret they’ve never shared with their colleagues, their churches, and sometimes even their spouses. I know I can count on one hand the people I’ve shared it with. Until now.

Regardless of how betrayed my fellow colleagues in the trenches might feel by me spilling the beans…I can’t hold it in any longer. I’m coming clean.

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You want to know what surprises me? Every time I hear someone tell me they’re firing up a resume, I am always struck by how similar the reasons are for why they are taking their hand off the plow. Many ministers say they’re tempted to throw in the towel or move because of people. Problem people to be exact. I remember the first church I served. After a few months I was approached by a man who felt called by God to be my accountability partner…without asking me. He offered to take me out to eat one day, so I accepted. Little was I prepared for what was about to happen.

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Setting down his sandwich he said, “Brian, there are a number of things you are doing wrong, but for the sake of time I’ve kept my list to 10.” I made the mistake of saying, “Start with number one.” Two and a half hours later I left with two things--30% less self-esteem and a really good case for why first cousins should never marry.Like most ministers, I’ve regularly felt the sting of difficult people. Looking back on some of these situations I’ve come to one conclusion: in every congregation there are always 3 or 4 blessed souls that are there because no other organization in town will put up with them. Yes, I agree that it’s hard to overestimate the damage some ministers have done to churches.

I own that. I know I’ve caused my share of pain. But it’s also healthy to acknowledge that many of God’s servants walk with a limp because no-one in their congregation had the guts to stand up to a known troublemaker and protect their leader. It’s at those times it becomes easy to question whether the price is too high, at least for me. A while ago I stumbled upon one of those well-known job search web sites. Supposedly it is the largest in the world…matching thousands of employers with employees everyday. I was curious so I plugged in my education, experience, and the name of the mildly prestigious divinity school from which I graduated.

Most ministers will understand my elation at clicking the button and reading a report that pointed me to a long, distinguished career at my local Krispy Krème. When I’ve talked with colleagues, the feeling that is expressed is not necessarily one of resentment, but of being trapped. Even if they wanted to leave the ministry, what kind of job could they get? Could they make what they’re making now? Is it too late to start over? Try to remember the vigor and vision with which we entered Bible College. I literally would have become a Pastor if they told me I’d never be paid a single penny.