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Now, before you do anything, you need to understand why you keep this part of yourself around. You know it is not helping you grow to be a better person, you know it drags Binary Fund Review you down, so why carry it with you all these years? The answer is fear and habit. You are afraid to let go of that pain. It is familiar, and releasing it will make you lose an important part of yourself. You have been living with that side of yourself for so many years, how do you live without it? That is the fear of the unknown and the fear of change talking. So how do you address those fears? How do you change? That is what this book is about, and all the tricks and tools are coming up.

First, I believe you need to understand where your pain comes from, and second, you need to decide that staying in that victimized mode is more painful for you then changing. It took years to get to where you are. You now feel you have reached a point where you are strong enough to do it, so let's do it. One step at a time. Don't forget that your goal is to let go of the pain that you have associated with a part of you that is stuck in time; that part that makes you live today's events through the hurt of the past.

In order to release this part of you properly, you have to do it with love, forgiveness, and tenderness, but also strength: leave no option but to let go. That part of you will fight to stay. You have to be 100% committed to succeed in letting go of the pain.

Your goal of being at peace with food, to no longer binge out your emotions, and to succeed at looking great and feeling great will not happen, will never happen, unless you release the part of you that is hurt. This is why you have to be 100% committed. Life knows you are getting geared up for this challenge, and it will give you plenty of opportunities to test your resolve. It will throw at you everything it can to see if you are ready to succeed.

So now that you understand where you are, let's see how to resolve it. Let's take an example. You get up in the morning, you work out, meditate, write in your journal, and you are ready to take on the world. You get to the office, your boss yells at you for a major mistake you made that cost the company tons of money. OK, this is the first test of the day. How will you handle it? Will your stay centered with your adult as master of your domain and evaluate the situation calmly? Or will you let your younger self take over and react to today's events like a neurotic, self-destroying, sabotaging, throwing-a-tantrum kid? Well, when you put it like that!

The key to success is to NEVER let your younger self take over 100%. I know, easier said than done. Stop and listen. Go inward. If you feel your younger self flaring up, start to speak to your younger self right away. How does it feel? Personally, I get stomach pangs. I start feeling anxious, (actually uncontrolled anxiety) and if it is early morning, I desperately want a Danish and a coffee or if it is afternoon, chips and chocolate. And of course, I start my pattern of negative thinking and my physiology changes. If you find yourself in this position, what do you do?

The first thing to figure out is your pattern. Now that I know what mine is, I need to do two things. First I need to resolve the source of the problem, which is: wrongly handling today's situation with my young self instead of my grown self. I need to calm my younger self down. In Chapter 2, we will look at how to change a pattern, but for now, what you need to know is how to address that hurt, younger self that wants to take over.

You need to imagine talking to a child and approach your younger self with understanding and assurance: "I understand that you are hurt. That was pretty awful what was just said. Let me dig into this problem, logically. I will analyze it and see what happens." Your younger self needs to feel security. When your younger self flares up like that, it is because there is a feeling of being attacked. No way. Your adult self is there to protect all of you no matter what. The sooner all your selves get that, the better you (and everyone!) will feel. At times, your younger self will try to overtake you.

This is when soft (and sometimes hard) discipline comes in. You have to stand your ground and make it clear that you are not going anywhere. Your younger self needs to take a back seat and let you do your job. Think about the double fights that you have had to deal with all your life. As an adult, you have to contain the current situation, but at the same time, you have this side of you who just wants to have a tantrum and walk away because she is hurt (in this case walk away from the job!). You have always had to deal with two things at the same time, but that is not how adults deal with rough situations and your younger self needs to understand this. The stronger your adult and your core become, the less space your hurt younger self will take up.

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But at the same time, keep in mind that your young self is hurt. She is re-living a past event. You need to consciously relive it with her. So while you are taking charge at work, take some time on a quiet morning and write in your diary and try to figure out where this pain comes from. You need to simulate that event or similar events to bring this pain to the surface and relive it properly; that means reliving the pain with who you are today. It may be painful but it will relieve so much old bundled up pain that after you have done it, you will feel relieved and re-energized. The next time someone attacks you, this old pain will not resurface because you took care of it.

I find that I am in control most of the time, but I also find that now, when my younger self comes out, she is more angry and anxious than she used to be. This makes it harder for me to control her, but it is also a good thing. It means that I am headed in the right direction. When you get to this point, you'll find that the challenges are tougher, but as you conquer them, you get closer and closer to being free. Keep doing the exercise of writing down your pain and simulating it as if it was happening for real. Do it for each pain and relieve each and everyone of them, one at the time. 
Stay strong, stay on top, and don't forget to get physical. I like to go for walks or climb stairs in my building in order to reconnect with my body and feel strong. I come back, my head high, shoulders back, and I'm smiling. Keep 100% committed; nothing else matters. Until this is solved, nothing you want will happen.

If the anxiety is still there, that means you have not yet resolved the pain she is suffering from. Go back to simulating events. You know you are on the right path when you feel it in your gut. To prevent your younger self from taking all the space, she needs to realize that you are now ready to be there and help her let go of the pain. The hurt can be released, and your younger self can now rest or come out and play instead. All she really wants is to be listened to!

You cannot change the circumstances of the past. You can only change your reactions to it with your reality of today. This is what people mean when they say; "it is your choice". What happened then was not your choice, your reactions then as a child were the best you could do at that time. But what you do today as an adult is your choice. Do you want to remain angry, sad, and anxious forever? Do you want that to define you? Do you want to keep on being the victim? Is that how you want to be remembered?

You, today, define who you are and who you chose to be. It is your choice. Rewrite your own story on how You want it to be. If you are reading this book, it is because a large part of you is ready to let go. That is great news. So buckle up, it will be quite a ride. One event at a time, one hour at a time, one day, one week, one month at a time. Be persistent and never give up. You, all of you, are worth it. The more you stay centered and strong, the more you will be releasing that part of yourself that is hurt and needs to rest. But be careful. Just when you think you have it all figured out and have it all together: Bang! Another test will come your way. Maybe a bigger one. Stay focused, and stay in a place of love and forgiveness and strength instead of anger and anxiety. You need to gain momentum. Take action. The minute you sit back and do nothing, that is when your younger self will take over.

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